Q&A: What is adversity?

Every month, I publish an answer to a reader’s question. Here’s a transcript of my answer to the reader question about the meaning of adversity:

Hey Lisanne, what is adversity? Can you give your opinion about it?

I’ve learned that adversity is something we all encounter sooner or later. Nobody’s life is entirely free from challenges, neither is mine, though they come in different forms and intensities.

Resisting those difficulties can often be futile as it does not change the situation. Because when we resist what is happening, we create unnecessary tension within ourselves.

In the moment, the challenge often seems like the greatest obstacle, but the more difficult part is often coming to terms with the situation as it is. But when we accept adversities as they come, we tend to work with the situation more calmly and effectively. Acceptance is one of those things that is much easier said than done, especially when big unbearable tragedies hit us. But more than resistance, acceptance allows us to adapt, overcome, and ultimately find peace in the process.

In Eckhart Tolle’s essential teachings, he explains how the world is not here to make us happy as it does not have the power to, but it’s there to make us conscious instead. He teaches that by accepting challenges, and letting go of attachment to outcomes, we can find a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment.

From this deeper place of peace, we can then start to understand the adversities that come our way and figure out how to respond to them properly — in the words of Alan Watts, a renowned philosopher and writer, “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”

In 2018 I read a wonderful book called Man’s Search for Meaning, written by psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl. Partly due to his job and expertise, and likely also because of his personal interest, he shares how he observed his fellow mates in the concentration camps and how they coped.

One of the profound observations he made about human behavior and resilience during this time was the importance of meaning. He observed that those who had a reason to live found ways to survive. Those who had babies at home, or even the possibility they were still alive, helped them bear almost any horrific circumstances.

He stated that everything can be taken from a man, except for the last of human freedoms, which is to choose its own attitude and response to any given set of circumstances and find meaning to the suffering.

I believe the only thing we can be certain of is the present moment, so preparing ourselves for adversity to come isn’t a great way as it shifts your focus from the present to potential future problems that may or may not arise. More often than not the adversities that enter our lives are new to us. The challenges present themselves to us, but we haven’t encountered them before. A close friend of mine recently lost her brother, and I’ve seen how challenging it can be to navigate grief when you haven’t experienced it before or don’t know how to cope.

However, I do believe we can better equip ourselves against setbacks by developing a good support system and taking good care of our bodies and minds. Also, science shows that healing from tragic moments happens through relationships, fulfilling interactions, and through community. In other words, in times of trouble, you’ll have something to fall back on.

So if we took a bit more time away from our screens, and focused on bringing more meaning into our world — whether by building meaningful relationships, taking care of ourselves, or diving into work that brings us joy, we might notice moments of resilience.

What is adversity to you? And how do you deal with it when it presents itself? I’m looking forward to your comment.

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Thank you for reading. This reader’s question is part of the Ask Me Anything series. I´d love to answer more of your interesting questions and get a sense of your interests. If you have questions to extend this Ask Me Anything section, please let me know. I like to hear from you. Send me your question via team@lisanneswart.com

Here is a list of the last 3 readers’ questions I’ve answered:

• How much of one’s success do I attribute to luck versus hard work?
• Is there a motto or principle I live by?
• What, in my view, is the power of storytelling?
  

» Explore more answers to thought-provoking questions